Master Seam Ripper

Words and thought threads by SewZanne

June 5: challenging my thinking

on June 5, 2013

Let me start this with a disclaimer
I am not complaining or looking for sympathy.( so please no replies to this post) All I am doing it being honest about the daily struggle with chronic pain..maybe others who struggle as well will know they are not alone :heart:

Somedays living with constant pain wear you down. I feel beat, discouraged, disappointed, frustrated, depressed and hurt.

The challenge I face is.. If I talk about my pain. It sounds like whining to others. I get it. Really I do!!! I can’t stand whiny people. But what I really don’t like is complaints about something You Can Change. Pain is not always changeable.

We all know that amazing person( actually I’ve know a few) who handle Cancer, Trauma or challenge without the slightest complaint.
I’m trying to be that hero, but today my heroics are failing me.

I am tired of walking daily in pain. I am so grateful to have some relief with some medication , but I hate that I am dependent on medicine to be able to walk at all. Yet even with it. Every step feels like a sharp rock in my shoe :/
I am disappointed that 3 surgeries didn’t help

I am overwhelmed by the arm -neck pain. The MRI showed rapid progression of the degeneration in my neck. This means daily my right arm goes numb. I drop things often and I am slowly losing feeling in my arm. At night it throbs and aches I spend many nights sitting in my chair rocking myself

I hate that this once athletic body is breaking down. I can’t breathe, push or suck it up through it.

What I can do today!!!
Long List of I cans to follow
I get honest about my limits.
Begin the challenge of accepting my life(body) on life’s terms. Acceptance is the key!! Not easy but the answer.
I can ask for help when I need it.
I can keep looking for new healthy options to improve my health
I can continue to look for alternative options for a pain free life
. I can be of service to others. Helping others in their struggles always is the great healer.
I continue to hold the hand of my Mighty God. Amen



One response to “June 5: challenging my thinking

  1. Sivje Parish says:

    Hugs sweet Suze. You are a blessing to me. I understand chronic pain and I so wish I didn’t. I am not used to not being really productive and hate the days when I can barely hobble around. I miss the days when I could do so much. I have prayed for your healing and I don’t think you are a whiner at all. I will just keep praying.

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